Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget
where they left them.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman
gain 5lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what
you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your
body and your fat are really good friends.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and
setting fire to my knickers.
Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2
sizes!
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and
then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too
much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea
of a perfect day!
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Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like..."You know,
sometimes I forget to eat!" Now... I've forgotten my address, my mother's
maiden name and my keys. But I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a
special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
CAR FOR SALE IN IRELAND!
Read ad first
Car for
The following is an actual advertisement in an Irish Newspaper..!
1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
Only 15 km
Only first gear and reverse used
Never driven hard
Original tires
Original brakes
Original fuel and oil
Only 1 driver Owner
Wishing to sell due to employment lay-off
Please see photo below .
Wait for it....
This is good....... (to be sure, to be sure)
(Down)
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