Hello

I am the Friggin' Happiness Fairy.

I've sprinkled happy dust on you.


SO SMILE DAMMIT. This shit is EXPENSIVE!!

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Help Desk



This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help-line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Helpdesk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the Word perfect organisation for “Termination without Cause.”

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee

(now we know why they record these conversations)!


“Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?”

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared.”

“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

“How do I tell?”

“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”

“What’s a sea-prompt?”

“Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”

“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

“What’s a monitor?”

“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the
wall.”

“Yes, it is.”

“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

“No.”

“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable.”

“Okay, here it is.”

“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of
your computer.”

“I can’t reach.”

“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”

“No.”

“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s
dark.”

“Dark?”

“Yes, -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in
from the window.”

“Well, turn on the office light then.”

“I can’t.”

“No? Why not?”

“Because there’s a power failure.”

“A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”

“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

“Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

“Really? Is it that bad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

“Tell them you’re too f**k**g stupid to own a computer!”



Clever Woman?

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.



She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.



The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'



The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.



Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'



The woman said, 'That's okay.'



For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.



The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband
the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.



The
woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and
he will have eyes only for me.'



So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!



For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.



The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than you.'



The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine.'



So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!



The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild
heart attack.'



Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers

: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.



Male readers
:
Please scroll down.



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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.



Moral of the story
: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.




Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen
.... !!


Technical problem with mouse!






This might only be funny for people who work in IT !